Chapter 2 /  The Second Degree:
“You Always Hurt The Ones You Love”
by Deacon Charlie

In a dysfunctional family with overbearing or domineering parents or passive submissive ones, the children are either cowed into submission or come to identify with one or the other parent (usually the stronger personality).  By the time they become teenagers, the children either use the sick situation to their advantage by imitating one of their parents or to manipulate the “failed” family system by selfishly getting what they want and to contribute as little as possible.  In a similar manner, the average Catholic who has not come to identify closely with one of the Church’s ministers or some aspect of its mission in a blind, exclusive way (e.g. the Right to Life movement), can use or manipulate the Church to his/her own particular advantage without too much personal cost or trouble.  Having seen how hurtful some pastors or bishops can be in certain situations towards others, one can seek out other parishes or dioceses where the minister-in-charge is more amenable to one’s request for a sacrament, dispensation or annulment.  This assumes that one is still in good standing with the Church (Sunday Mass, envelopes, etc) without interfering or attempting to change things in any way because then, one can get what they want or use the ecclesial system without being considered an outsider or “trouble maker”.

A less likely course for the average Catholic when they realize that the clergy or the “good sisters” are only human after all and become frustrated with its “outdated” teachings, is to rebel and to leave the Church (like a harassed teenager in a dysfunctional family)  altogether with a possible loss of one’s religious faith.  Another scenario for the more dedicated lay Catholic is to become directly involved in its mission as a lay volunteer of music, liturgy, religious education, etc.  Once again, this minority course of action, lays the average Catholic open to abuse by the Church and its leaders who expose such lay volunteers to long hours of work at no or minimal awards, verbal, emotional or even sexual (e.g. the present clerical pedophilia scandal) exploitation leading to personal or religious “burn out”, and even a loss of faith in some cases.

My personal experience from this Second Degree Catholics’ observation is that they tend to remain passive in the practice and beliefs of their Faith; always deferring to the clergy or other religious professionals in order to appear loyal or to avoid any conflict with authority.  This religious attitude which seems to be prevalent with most Catholics in America and in Europe, tends to breed a kind of “cultural Catholicism” based on family or ethnic loyalty, but devoid of any personal conviction or commitment.  This type of Second Degree Catholic uses the Church for his/her purposes, but when a personal issue or conflict arises with the Church, say over a ministerial, financial or sexual problem; they tend to “bow out” from the institution and become one of many “fallen away Catholics.”

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